How Many Is Too Many?

I was watching a local TV show the other night hosted by two Atlanta radio personalities. They read a letter from a confused listener/viewer seeking advice, insight, or some sort of understanding in her situation.

The gist of the letter:

It describes a young woman in her late 20s, raised by free-spirited parents who encouraged sexual freedom and responsibility. She became sexually active around the age of 15. She had not been in a serious or committed relationship until recently. While at dinner with the beau of several months, he asked how many men had she’d been with sexually. She responded that is was 624. He called her slut. Now she is confused as to why he would call her such a thing.

We know the double standard. A man can bed over 100 women and be considered a “player”. Yet, a woman who does the same is considered a “whore”. I’m not going to debate that issue. It is what it is and I don’t see it changing in my lifetime.

My question, as the title states, is how many is too many for a woman? For a man?

Think about it for a minute…

This prompted several conversations with male friends. One friend threw out an arbitrary number while others scoffed at the very idea. They gave me the “screw face” as if it pained them to even think about it.

Do you have a number yet?

Ok. So now, does it matter the woman’s age? Should we factor that into the equation? Reason being a 20-year-old woman having 20 sexual partners is quite different from say a 40-year-old woman with the same amount.

Given an individual’s liberal or conservative ideas on sexual behavior this is far too subjective. The answer will vary depending on background, social mores, religious beliefs, and convictions.

Personally, I don’ think a man should concern himself with the number of a woman’s sexual partners but rather if she has practiced safe sex and when was she last tested for STDs and the results of those tests.

So again, how many is too many? What is acceptable?

Should a man ask a woman the number of sexual partners she’s had?

Should the woman be honest and forthcoming with the number of sexual partners she’s had?

What say you?

I Am Tired

Have you ever wanted to walk away from it all? I mean, just pack the needed essentials, jump in your whip and ride out?

Leave all this shit right here – the leaky roof, the water leak, the mortgage payments, the yard work, the dirty carpet, the fibroids, the low iron, the needy ass relatives, and the ever increasing demands on my time.

I wish I could go back in time when the cares of life were of no concern.

Life is about cycles and I have lived long enough to know this too shall pass however, I am tired.

Time will bring a real end of our trials. - Maxwell

Rain. Rain. Go Away

It has been raining every day for the past seven days and I’m sick of it! Seven days of rain and no sunshine have affected my mood.

In addition to “effin” with my mood, it is costing me money. I have a water leak on my property and the repairs have been postponed because of the rain…the grounds are too saturated for  the plumber to dig. Meteorologists are forecasting rain for the next 3 days so the repairs will not happen until Friday at the earliest.

But wait, it gets better….

I get home last night and there’s a wet spot on the ceiling in my bedroom closet. It would appear there’s a leak in the attic. Oh, well I don’t know what that is about but I refuse to worry myself senseless about it. If it’s not one thing it’s another. ::deep sigh::

All of this rain has left the Atlanta metro area under flash flood warnings. Three of the four routes to get out of my area to a major street were closed due to flooding creeks and/or rivers. I have the option to work from home and did so today and will probably have to do so tomorrow.

I want to see some sunshine. It will do wonders for my mood and my outlook.

I Am Learning To Dance

The truest expression of a people is in its dance and in its music. Bodies never lie. ~Agnes de Mille

He leads, she follows. He controls the situation and she surrenders, totally. Through submission she feels the freedom. This is on the dance floor.

She is an alpha female, fiercely independent and places no confidence nor trust in a man, any man. Anything a man can do she believes she can do better because she is his equal. In her life she finds it impossible, and stupid, to follow a man’s lead. To her, surrender and submission means a loss of control, dependence…subjection.

If there is any truth to the quote “Dance is the hidden language of the soul. ~Martha Graham”, the majority of women is living in direct contrast to our deepest, most natural desire and it is not a wonder why we are all the more miserable for it. We have fought against the very thing we yearn for most.

For all the good the feminist movement did in achieving social and political equality for women, I think it also did us a great disservice. Over the years this feminism, bra burning, girl power, Gloria Steinem, I am woman hear me roar bullshit has convinced women that we are “equal” to men and that submission/surrender equals oppression.

We have forgotten our roles and we are out of place. We no longer know how to “dance”. Men and women are trying to “lead” and the end result is frustration, loneliness, and dare I say it, bitterness.

Some blame feminisms for this ill-fated Tango while others argue it stems from necessity and is rooted in the poor examples from which we witnessed growing up. Too many male partners are not equipped to assume the lead role or they refuse to. She essentially has no choice and has operated in this mode for so long that she finds it impossible to recognize a good “dance” partner and to fall back to allow him to be a man.

She has assumed the role of aggressor and instead of being the hunted, she has become the hunter in many cases offering her goodies to catch her prey.

She is now the major bread winner in her marriage/partnership. She demands equal and fair treatment and proudly makes the declaration that she does not need a man. And here’s the irony…although she claims not to need a man, she still wants to find one who will take care of her and make her feel secure. She wants to be independent and dependant at the same time. We have become so confused about our roles and we are paying a huge price for it.

You can see her in today’s generation of young women. She is Kate Gosselin of “John & Kate Plus 8” fame (who is a ball busting bitch of a shrew IMO). She is your independent sister, cousin, mother, or best girlfriend. She might even be you.

She was definitely me at one point in my life but I’ve grown tired of fighting in direct opposition to what is natural.

A friend said to me that “time is both cruel and liberating”. If you are wise time will also teach you a few things. It is teaching me to pursue my deepest desires. It is teaching me how to dance. It is teaching me to submit – and through submission comes freedom.

To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak. – Hopi Indian Saying

Hate N Holla!!!

I have grown very tired of this fairly new euphemism “hatin“.  You’ve heard it before and I have even used it in jest when playfully suggesting a friend’s envy of some minor issue, object, event, etc., etc.

But what really pisses me the hell off are people who throw this term at others when they are expressing an opinion that differs from theirs. A commenter left such a diatribe here on my site regarding my post on Michael Jackson and most of my readers know me well enough to know I didn’t let that shit slide.  I, in turn, told the commenter to “fuck off“.

Now, I admit that was a bit harsh and yes, I could have addressed it differently but diplomacy is not my forte; never has been. I give it straight, no chaser. I considered apologizing but nah, I’m not going to backtrack. My response will stand as is, especially after the commenter invited me to “eat ass“, specifically, her ass. She’s a big broad too and  has enough ass to pass around for a Thanksgiving feast but I’ll have to respectfully decline. I prefer sausage, NOT fish.

And since I knoooow she’s going to return to check out my response and will probably want to spit more shit, I’ve BLOCKED dat ass!

You will not see her comments (yes, she left more than one). Why not? Because this blog is not a democracy. I couldn’t give less than a dayum about being fair and allowing “FOOLS” to voice their bullshit on my spot.

With that being said….

HATE – N – HOLLA!!!

::giggling my Chocl8t azz off::