The Mammogram

My yearly visits to the torture device, also known as the mammogram, started in 1998 when my right breast began to leak fluid due to a ruptured mammary duct.

That diagnosis cam by way of a general surgeon after visiting a “breast specialist” who, after administering a breast ultrasound told me “Oh, that’s normal.” Good thing I sought out a second opinion.

Never accept a doctor’s word at face value when you know in your heart of hearts that what he/she is saying does not ring true. Do not be afraid to seek out a second, or third, opinion. Be your own advocate!!

During a self breast exam in 2003, I discovered a lump. A mammogram, ultra sound, biopsy, and eventual lump removal revealed there was no cancer. All was good and the torture device visits continued.

Sitting in a meeting at work about 12 days ago (a Tuesday) my upper right arm grazed my breast when I reached for something on the conference room table. I winced from the pain and tenderness and my first thought was “What was that?”

Immediately after the meeting I called to schedule an appointment for a mammogram. (The yearly visit was last August.)

Thursday morning found me at the Cobb Women’s Imaging Center for a mammogram and a breast ultrasound.

There are no words to accurately describe the anxiety. I barely ate and had a headache that laughed at the Tylenol I ingested. Despite trying to remain positive the internal dialogue could not be quieted.

What if it is cancer? How will we decide to treat it? Is it early enough that I won’t lose my breast? Chemotherapy? I’ll lose my hair!! Just when I decided to let it grow out again. I rocked a natural look surely I could rock the bald look too. If it is cancer, they’ll just have to remove the lump ASAP and I will start chemo after I return from Thailand in March.

Then there was the Monday afternoon appointment with the surgeon.

Tuesday -Hit auto-replay and shuffle on internal dialogue.

Wednesday morning – an ultrasound guided needle biopsy.

Thursday – Hit auto-replay and shuffle on internal dialogue.

The call came from the doctor’s office on Friday. It is not cancer.

OH HAPPY DAY!

I am forever grateful to the universe and will continue my monthly breast exams and my annual mammogram. If you’re a woman over 40, you should do the same.

If you’re a woman under 40, or a man (YES. MEN, you can get breast cancer too!), self breast exams are a must. Learn to do them correctly!

Visit the following links for more information on mammograms and self breast exams for men and women!

Here’s to happy healthy breasts!!!

Women click here. Men click here.

Bigot – a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially: one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance.  Merriam Webster

With hatred…and intolerance.

Intolerant – a: unwilling to grant equal freedom of expression especially in religious matters b: unwilling to grant or share social, political, or professional rights.  Merriam Webster

Sitchyo Ass Down

Which brings me to Newton Leroy Gingrinch, known to friends and foes as Newt. Who else finds his middle name Leroy highly ironic? No one? Okay. Moving right along.

Last week during a campaign stop in Columbia, Newt Gingrinch was asked if he would ever endorse a Muslin running for president. To which he replied, “It would depend entirely on whether they would commit in public to give up Shariah“. He went on to say, “A truly modern person who happened to worship Allah would not be a threat, a person who belonged to any kind of belief in Shariah, any effort to impose it on the rest of us, would be a mortal threat“. (Read the full story HERE.)

Leroy Newt…sitchyo ass all the way down!! Have a seat sir!

According to Wikipedia, Shariah (they’ve spelled it Sharia) is the moral code and religious law of Islam derived from the Quran and the example set by the prophet Muhammad. Muslims believe Sharia is God’s law but the interpretations of that vary widely between modernists, traditionalists, fundamentalists and also depends on country, society and culture. (If any Muslim readers can confirm or clarify it would be greatly appreciated.)

Sounds vaguely familiar? Think Christians and the Bible.

Let’s take a closer look at your statements Newty-Newt.

“a person who belonged to any kind of belief in Shariah….would be a mortal threat“

Oh, like the Crusades were to non-Christians? Or like the enslavement of millions of Africans by Anglo-Saxon European (new Americans) using the Bible as justification?

“any effort to impose it on the rest of us” and being “totally opposed” to Shariah law being applied in American courts. Oh, as opposed to say uhm…Christianity?

My name is Leroy and I'm a Cancer

The last time I checked the American governmental and judicial systems were based on Judeo Christian teachings in which non-Christian citizens are expected to operate within. And even though the First Amendment of the Constitution mandates a separation of church and state, Evangelical Christians have become such a powerful lobbying group who consistently flexes its muscle to impose their religious beliefs and biblical interpretations on EVERYONE. Extremists in this group have even resorted to violence in an effort to voice their oppositions to ideas and people who don’t agree. Think abortion clinic bombings. This makes their very existence a mortal threat to those who think differently. Does it not?

Newt, your assertion that someone of a different faith should publicly denounce their religion is beyond shameful…ignorant at best, bigoted at worst. But we should not be surprised nor shocked. You have a proven track record of bigoted, racist, divisive rhetoric, don’t you?

Oh, but what a fine upstanding Christian man you are sir. I mean, you’re a beacon of light, a fine example of Christian values. Who wouldn’t be after divorcing wife #1 when she was battling cancer; wife #2 after she was diagnosed with M.S., leaving her for your current wife (that’s #3 if you’ve lost track) all while calling for President Clinton’s impeachment for lying about his torrid sexcapades with Monica Lewinsky.

Loyalty. Faithfulness. Honesty.

Yes….no Muslim would ever be fit enough to run for the presidency and be graced by an endorsement from the likes of you…..LEROY!!

Sitchyo ass down!!!

It’s been a long time since I have posted anything. Because of this, I’m sure my few regular readers think I have fallen off the face of the earth. But alas…I have not.

I am starting a new weekly posting called “Have A Seat” where I intend to point out the bullshit, hypocrisy and outright lunacy of people, places, or things that grab my attention. These things may be in the news or daily occurrences in my life. That is to say, no one is exempt. Given some of the things I see in the news this could be a long running series.

Now, let’s get started.

Hey y’all!! Paula Deen announced this week she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes three years ago. Her revelation was met with a firestorm of criticism from many of her fans, diabetic patients, and a fellow celebrity chef, Anthony Bourdain. (If you missed that you can read about it here.)

The timing of her revelation coincides with the announcement of her partnership with diabetes drug maker Novo Nordisk as a paid spokesperson.

So here we have an overweight celebrity chef whose menu and focus is comfort foods laden with butter and sugar telling the world she is diabetic in order to educate you about the disease.

Ms. Dean….HAVE. A. SEAT!!!

Hey y'all!!

Your entire empire is built on recipes that are a diabetic’s kryptonite. No matter how subtlety mentioned “moderation” your fatty sugar-rich recipes, which you state you will continue to promote on your shows, and your paid “partnership” with the drug company casts you in the bright lights of hypocrisy.

Your supporters say that you owe no one an explanation. I disagree.

If you were to be taken seriously and sincerely, you should have made the announcement of your diagnosis years ago, shortly after you learned of it. If you were sincere about your desire to educate others on diabetes, you should have offered healthier alternatives to your recipes in conjunction with emphasizing moderation. And here’s a novel idea…introduce your viewers to healthy tasty recipes that can assist them in AVOIDING diabetes altogether.

And finally, all of this should have been done without you profiting from promoting drugs that only treat and mask diabetic symptoms.

I balked at Anthony Bourdain’s assertion that you were the “worst, dangerous person in America.”

But now I think, he may not be too far off the mark.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Syndey Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 14,000 times in 2011. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 5 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives. – Anonymous

I had a minor medical procedure this past Thursday. One that required me to take one Lorazepam (to calm me) and one Percocet (for pain) 30 minutes prior to the procedure, then a local anesthetic once there. It was for this reason I needed someone to drive to and from the doctor’s office.

Initially I solicited the help of my BFF, Sispoon, who lives in Florida but due to last-minute work obligations, she was unable to fly into Atlanta. No worries, because I know where her heart is. Another friend, LMD, stepped in and got me there and back.

I am not sure if it was the medication or McDonald’s, but once I made it back to the house nausea took over and everything in my stomach ended up on the bathroom floor, the toilet, the shower curtain, my clothes, my shoes…basically everywhere. LMD proved to be a real trooper. YES…she cleaned it up. That girl has a strong stomach and should have been a nurse.

Talk about being there. Which leads me to my next point.

The next day I get a phone call from a relative and the conversation went like this:

Her: Hey, I totally forgot about your procedure. How are you?
Me: I’m good.
Her: Did Sispoon fly in?
Me: No…last minute thing for her job.
Her: Why didn’t you call me? (emphatically) I could have…
Me: No worries. I got it taken care of. It’s all good.
Her: Okay. Well call me if you need anything.
Me: Okay. Thank you.

As it turned out, a few hours later I did need her so I called her mobile phone.

Her: Hello.
Me: Are you at home?
Her: Yeah…but I don’t have any gas in my car so…
Me: Okay, nevermind. Thanks.
Her: Hey, what do you ne…

I hang up.

*blinks….blinks…..*

Family.

For as long as I can remember, I have been told how much I look like her and how much I act like her. Even I have said it, countless times, going so far as to say I am her “Mini-Me”.

When I was 15 years old, I remember telling my mother, in a fit of anger, that I never wanted to be like her. Fast forwardseveral years when, as a 19-year-old college student, I finally relented.

Chocl8t:     Mom. I give up!

Mom:         What’s wrong baby?

Chocl8t:     I give up! I’m tired of fighting it!

Mom:         What are you talking about? What’s wrong? (very concerned)

Chocl8t:     I am just like YOU! I look like you. Some things I say and I sound like YOU! I give up!

Mom:         (Hysterical laughter)

This admission appeared to have been the nail in the coffin of a fight that had died. Was this to be my fate…to be just like my mom? Not only do I look like her but my mannerisms, attitude, disposition, and philosophies too? This is a very depressing thought for a woman who lauds herself as an independent, free-thinker who dances to the beat of her own drum.

Now, don’t get me wrong. My mom is a great woman in her own right. However, I am not my mother.

I have carved out my own identity and style and developed my own philosophies. While there are strong similarities there are also some stark contrasts to our personalities. We are vastly different in our approach to life and how we view ourselves and the world. These differences have lent themselves to very heated discussions and disagreements which used to leave me extremely frustrated. Personal growth and maturity has taught me to accept her as she is and to know we will never agree on certain things.

Through that same personal growth and maturity, I have realized that our differences makes us wonderfully unique and leaves me knowing…

I am. Not. My mother.

Current events?

Lets see, there is the debt ceiling crisis going on in Washington, DC; Amy Winhouse’s apparent death from a drug overdose; Stauss-Kahn and the hotel maid; the local Georgia woman convicted of vehicular homicide in the death of her son, whom she did not kill.  But alas…nothing is moving me at the moment.

I could write about how this heat has turned me into a hermit this summer. I have not hung out nearly as much as I did last summer. But there’s not enough material there though.

I’m going to give it another day or so.

Lets see what hits me.

The very thought of that has those who believe he killed Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman a little up in arms. But what if OJ really didn’t do it? What if there was compelling evidence to give one pause or reasonable doubt?

I am not going to offer any editorial on the video below.  Please watch it for yourself when you have time. (It’s 1 hour, 20 mins) After watching it, come back and answer the poll question.

All I can say is WOW!

Take Our Poll

Serena Williams

Last week I asked followers on Twitter to explain the current phenomena of being called and labeled a “hater” if you express an opposing opinion on a matter.

What prompted this perplexity was a comment I made on Facebook regarding Serena Williams’ yaki #4 weave. (See the comments HERE.) Then the passive aggressive, under-handed, sly comment of another person (Nichelle CNS) lauding all of Ms Williams’s accomplishments and stating anything said otherwise is “hate.”

ORLY? So we all have to agree and sing another’s praises or else, we’re “hating”. As a supporter and believer in the First Amendment, this is the most asinine mentality.

Pious prudes on Facebook is not the only segment of society guilty of this “mentality.”

The Gay & Lesbian community, by and large, does the same thing to those who dare disagree with anything related to them.

Homophobe is  what they call me! *in my Pretty Ricky voice ala “Martin”* (Video, 2:29 mark)

Yes! I’m calling y’all out too boo-boo!

Recently I read an article HERE, where the state of California has passed a law allowing the teaching of “Gay History” to elementary school students.

Wait a minute! Did I read that correctly? Gay History? Yes. There it is in black and white.

Sorry, I can not support this. My reasons are my own and will not be the focus of this post.

This is wrong on so many levels.

I support Gay marriage and non-discriminatory practices against anyone due to their sexual orientation. I believe most gays are born that way with nurturing picking up the slack. I have loved, supported, and lost a close gay male family member to HIV/AIDS. However, in spite of that, by definition, this would make me “Homophobic.”

Don’t agree with allowing little boys to wear pink nail/toe polish, dress in pink tutus and t-shirts with “princess” inscribed on it, or play with girl toys? HOMOPHOBE!

Don’t agree with the gay and lesbian lifestyle because of religious beliefs? HOMOPHOBE! (okay, so many of them really are.)

Don’t think it is necessary for gay men to be overly effeminate? HOMOPHOBE!

Don’t like Dwight Eubanks flaming ass? Both HOMOPHOBE and HATER! (two snaps and a cherry swirl!)

Look, the fact of the mater is I can disagree with you and not hate you or fear you. (Phobia =an exaggerated usually inexplicable and illogical fear of a particular object, class of objects, or situation.)

I’m not trying to hold you back, keep you down, not jealous, nor am I hiding some deep dark forbidden desire for a little G.O.G action. (shutupTDV!)

I just do not like that weave on Serena’s head nor do I think elementary students should be taught “Gay History”.

End of story.

Let me explain why.

I didn’t realize that I associated my femininity/attractiveness with my hair. I have worn both long and short styles and everything in between – all with permed/relaxed hair though.

I no longer feel feminine – I feel as if I have lost that feminine edge. Looking at myself in the mirror, I don’t see that fly fashion forward funky woman.

Now I see, and know, women, beautiful women, with short natural hairstyles who are uber feminine but that is not how I am seeing myself at the moment.

Chocl8t's Mom

When speaking to a close male friend about this, he asked “what can you do to feel more feminine?”. To which I replied, not much more than wearing lip gloss everyday and large hoop earrings. He assured me that my femininity does not reside in my hair but rather in my demeanor, how I carry myself, and my attitude – that fact that I have boobs and bootay doesn’t hurt either. Yeah, he’s a funny guy.

I mentioned the same thing to a girlfriend who had a slightly different view. She thinks it’s because of the social/cultural conditioning to which many black women have fallen prey – our natural hair isn’t beautiful or good enough. Subsequently we spend most, if not all, of our lives and a large sum of money in the pursuit of that European standard of beauty.

I have had my hair chemically treated since I was fourteen years old and had forgotten what my “natural” hair texture was like. Fortunately, I am getting re-aquainted with my waves and curl pattern. But I have to be honest, I do not see “me”. Or maybe I do see me, naturally, but I am not quite comfortable with her – yet.

Have I been brainwashed to think my beauty/femininity lies in my chemically straightened hair whether long or short? Maybe.

Will I keep it this way? Not sure.

Do I regret the decision to cut my hair? No, because it has forced me to peel back yet another layer an examine myself again.

I know I will, along with my hair, grow from this experience.