Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child

For nearly a year, this story has angered me. 

cylenthia-clark2.jpgCylenthia Clark, a former assistant director for Fulton (Georgia) Department of Family and Children Services (DFCS), was accused (by Fayette County DFCS) and arrested on child abuse charges for allegedly “beating” (media sources’ word, not mine) her 8 year old daughter with a belt. Ms Clark apparently took a belt to her daughter’s butt for fighting with a student in school and a teacher. Read the story HERE.

There were reports that Ms Clark received preferential treatment because she was a DFCS employee and case workers stated they felt pressured to protect their colleague (full story here). Now the NAACP has stepped up to defend Ms Clark stating she, and other minority families in Fayette county, are being unfairly persecuted.

Clark is still awaiting trial in Fayette County, where the alleged crime occurred. But Thursday morning, Georgia and Fayette County NAACP officials called for a state investigation into not only Clark’s case, but the entire Fayette County DFCS office. They claim she and other minority families are being persecuted.

Source

I believe in corporal punishment. “Spare the rod, spoil the child” is my philosophy. I believe children should have a healthy fear, or reverence shall we say, for their parents. How one chooses to instill that fear –slash– reverence varies from parent to parent but my mother did it with a B.E.L.T.  

If at any given point after one of those “whoopins”, that I so deservedly received, DFCS would have visited our home and examined my welt covered behind, Momma would have been under the jail – by today’s standards. Was is abuse? No. Was it needed on occasion? HELL YES! As a child, I was more afraid of the thought of Momma’s whoopins than I was of being teased by friends for not doing something or going someplace with them she told me not to do or go. (Ooo, that was an awkward sentence) And when I did take temporary leave of my senses and disobeyed my mom and the infraction was “whoopin worthy”, the welts on my butt were there to remind me that actions have consequences.

Who determines what is abusive and what is not? Why should the way I discipline my child be considered abusive just because it differs from yours?

Why do you think that parents who use a belt to spank their children are failures at discipline? Check out the comment below.

JMO
Fayetteville, GA

I believe in “spanking” when it’s needed, for young children. Beating a child with a belt – and leaving marks, no less, that are still visible after she gets to school – is child abuse. I raised some very fine children – they have never been in any trouble with the law – and I certainly never beat them with a belt. If you are having to resort to that kind of thing then you are a failure at discipline, whether you know it or not.
Source

The definition of abuse is too loose and too subjective, administered on the whim of overworked under paid social workers. If you discipline your child with a belt, then those who don’t agree with that method label it as  abuse. Those who don’t agree with any form of corporal punishment will say the same.  I believe many parents who are so “loosy goosy” with the discipline will see those kids in the criminal court system later on.

Allow me to “discipline” my future child(ren) as I see fit without the fear of being jailed. Please and thank you.

Oh, and BTW…GIVE THIS WOMAN BACK HER DAYUM KIDS!!!!!!!

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21 thoughts on “Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child”

  1. I was raised with a healthy fear of Daddy’s belt myself. The infraction usually was dire to have recieved that as a punishment. You are right about sparing the rod and a lot of the problems we have with our youth today. They never had tough, discernable boundries to keep them in line, and now we, as a society, are paying the price. My ex-husband liked to use DCF as a, oh shall we say revenge tactic, if I did something he was pissed off about. One call he put in to them said I was beating my kids when I wasn’t. He just wanted to hassle me. The guy they sent over ACTUALLY said to me, “Don’t spank your kids when they are bad,…. draw them a clown.” I am totally serious about this! The f-ing dude told me to draw my kids a freaking clown if they get in trouble. Like that is going to teach them the proper discipline. A FREAKIN’ CLOWN!!!

  2. I am real tired of people telling folks they can’t discipline their kids but when the child does something wrong, or better yet illegal the parent is responsible.
    My mother beat me with a belt, but man she didn’t have to do that too many times because I learned my lesson!

    Yes I believe the bible when it say spare the rod spoil the child. I believe that beating your child if warranted, within reason may at times be needed.

    I do not believe that burning with cigarettes, or with hot irons, or breaking bones, or starving a child is discipline, that is abuse.
    This woman did not abuse her kids.

  3. A CLOWN?!! A FREAKIN CLOWN!!!!
    Okay, I’m going to bed on that one.
    SMDH…a clown…that wouldn’t do a dayum bit of good unless your child is afraid of clowns like a fellow blogger we know…LMAO
    Whew!! A dayum clown. That’s classic stupidity right there. Yes Sir!!

  4. I am going to make this short and simple. Let people raise their children. I know a single father right now struggling to discipline his 10 year old son cause he wants to beat his arse and the son has threatened to call the po-po if he does. He should not have to work and pay bills and take care of this child and not be able to run his own house the way he wants to. I have said this time and time again, those parents that will result to “abuse” are going to do it anyway because they are mentally ill and don’t care about the law.

  5. Tell your homeboy to bust his son in the chest. Leaves no marks or nothing, but it sucks like hell. Just bust that young niggro in the chest a few times, tell him to “Tighten up!” and deny the hell outta hitting him and see what happens. I betcha kid will straighten up real quick like.

    I surely plan on raising kids with a fear of being busted in the chest.

  6. I was spanked as a child. I remember those very well. However, I chose not to spank my children; but, punishments were tough and carried out. They grew up knowing right from wrong. That worked for me – it may not work for others. Parents need to set their boundries and make the rules that fit their families. Discipline is not abuse. Someone who abuses hits for no reason and all the time. (I never drew any clowns to scold my children either, how absurd.) I don’t believe this woman was an abuser. They need to use their energies where needed. It’s not needed with her.

  7. The overzealous witch-hunting DCF people….. where were they when Baby Grace was being tortured and killed in Galveston? Where were they when that little african-american girl was found beaten and dead in that small nevada town several years ago? Where are they when they are really needed!?!

  8. This just goes to show how far off base society has become with disciplining their children today. Back in my day, this mess did not exist. We got slapped, popped, and whooped if we got outta line, but I am better man because of it. That is why kids today have no respect for authority and commit crimes at a higher rate because they never get they a** beat. If the bible encourages parents to discipline their children, then who is man to interfere with that!?

  9. It seems society frowns upon parents discipling their own kids but feel it’s perfectly fine for the po-po to come along and taser, beat and even kill kids that are breaking the law. It’s ridiculous. Perhaps if more parents laid hands upon these kids, fewer of them would wind up in the criminal justice system.

  10. Plain and simple know what they see. If you beat their A** they will beat others, because that is how you solve the problem. Now, if this is where we want to be in history-fine. But if we want to move forward then quit teaching that beating a** is the aswer.

  11. Well “Me”, we all know it isn’t that “plain” nor is it that “simple”. Not everyone who received corporal punishment as a child turns into a violent adult as you’ve insinuated in your post. I speak from personal experience.
    Your differing opinion on how to discipline doesn’t bother me but it is those who share your opinion who feel you have the right to dictate to others how to discipline their children. If you find that your method works for you, Kudos. I applaud you. But you begin to tread treacherous waters when you overstep your bounds.

  12. Outlawing Child Abuse is a way to Save children whos parents think its right to pour Boiling water on or hit with a bat or break the childs fingers or punch the child in the face and many other Cruel things parents do that incluse hiting a child that is Clearing haveing Social Issues in school.. People like that never think of sitting down and talking with the child or takeing the child to Counciling.. most people that are abused as children end up hateing the parent that did it. The fact that the “NAACP” would saying somthing about a wrongfull arrest because of color is just ignorant.. The Law is the Law.. do you think if a white kid came to school with a black eye Social Services wouldnt be called? if so you are a fool.. you may agree with the belt whoopin now but when your a child you should never hafta feel the fear and stress of wondering if your Guardian is gonna attack you or not.

  13. I my self am being accused of child abuse for spanking my child recently with a belt. My daughter is 8 years old as well. I love my daughter with all my heart! My daughter has been suspended from every school and kicked out several daycares since the age of 2 years old. I give my daughter many chances to correcting her behavior, i have tried grounding her, i have tried positive reenforcement (Bribing my child) i have taken my child to juvenile detention center instill some type of scare tactic, the rules and expectations of this child are the same to avoid any confusion for my child, i warn my child what her behavior is going to result in and every day is a new day we start with a clean slate. To me a abusive parent doesn’t take these measures. My child is a fair skinned child so there was some marks and i can understand why I’m being investigated and my whole approach to this situation is as a “Blessing in disguise” My cry for help have been heard and my daughter will no longer be allowed to destroy her life! It just really stinks it had to happen this way! i have never spanked my child with a belt before this. I my self was a problem child who never got spanked and i treated my parents like garbage. I refuse to allow my child to do the same and destroy her life and let her think she can do what ever she wants.That is after all our parental duty? My daughter is a very smart little girl and all the problems she has had in the past have been documented. I have lost job and dropped out of my second school because of my daughters behavior. I’m a single parent and i feel i have done my very best to raise my daughter. My daughter has no fear of consequences, and does nothing but blame others for her mistakes, she is very manipulative, she steels, and she lies on a regular basis.She needs help and so do I. I’m tired of being looked at as a piece of crap parent because of my daughters behavior. I have had my daughter in counciling before and all they wanted to to is put her on medication and me personally I feel that putting your child on medication is a cop out and the easy way out that is up until now. Maybe if i did put my daughter on medication we wouldn’t be in this situation. I have had an out pour of support with in my community and i have also been encouraged by people who have seen and experienced my interaction with my child to seek professional help in regards to my daughter being a sociopath. Its a very scary thing. To all of you who haven’t had to spank your child you are very lucky plain and simple! To people who actually abuse your child let them be free there are people out there that can and will be a good parent swallow your pride or get all the help you can! To the parents who have to spank you kids i know it hurts it killed me to have to spank my girl but you do it because you care just remember that. If you turned a blind eye to your kids behavior you would of been just as guilty, thats called neglect in my eyes! Life is not easy , life is not fair, some people have never had a problem a day in there life and they don’t know what its like it’s very hard not to become bitter in a situation like this. As i’ve told people who have attacked me by spitting in my face in public since this situation, witch was very recently i understand you concern and i thank you but it is the job of the media is to get the big scoop that is there job but if your that concerned follow the story and you will see. You know in the past it has taken a whole tribe to take care of kids and now so many parents are alone. Do not judge people unless your willing to do something about it and make things a more positive and healthy thing.
    I understand there are concerned citizen’s out there that are there to protect kids that are being abused and that is a awesome thing because there are kids being mistreated but just because a kid gets the belt doesn’t mean they are being abused!

    Spare the rod and you WILL spoil the kid!

    http://www.tldm.org/news6/child.discipline.htm

    ENCOURAGED BY SCHOOLS, TEACHERS
    “Children will continue to rise up against their parents, being encouraged by their schools, their teachers, their news medias, and all the medias that have been well planned to seduce the souls of your children.” – Jesus, July 25, 1979

  14. May people have made good comments on discipline and on social workers jumping the gun on allegations of abuse, but when the facts of Cylenthia Clark’s case finally came out in court it was obvious that this had nothing to do with politics, race, spanking, or overzealous social workers.

    Jurors saw a tape in which The little girl described being whipped on the face, back, arms, and legs while kneeling, crawling across the floor, and lying face down on a bed and on the floor. Then, on tape, the child pointed to more than 30 individual bruises and welts on her back, arms, legs, and shoulders demonstrating where she was struck. Jurors were then shown photographs of all the different bruises. Doctors testified that most of the bruises were consistent with a looped belt, but that bruising on her arm was shaped like the buckle of the belt and was consistent with blows delivered to the arms while the child was fending them away from her face.

    The mother admitted in court that the struck the child on the face, arms, back and knees and caused all those injuries. The only thing she hesitated to admit was that she was acting maliciously when she beat her kid in the face with a belt buckle.

    This mom could not plead guilty fast enough after looking at the photos and videos of what she did to her child. She knew that the story she told in the press was absurd and that no jury on earth would ever believe it. If she hadn’t taken the plea she would be in prison right now.

    Yet another example of how the public instantly dismisses all abuse cases the moment the word ‘belt’ is mentioned. I’m ashamed to live in a country that shouts and complains every time an abused kid gets a day in court to be heard.

  15. I realize that whoopens are used to keep children in line. But my question is if a parent calls their child names like bitch and tells their child they are worthless and constantly blames them for things and then on top of that sometimes beats their ass until they have welts..IS that okay? Is that a sign of mental sbuse

  16. I have to partically agree and disagree with some of the previous statements. As a mother of five, my children call me a mean mother and of the five, one is a doctor (female), one is a Captian in the Military (female). My sons are all family men without any outside children and are educated. It was not easy trying to raise five different personalities, but I figured that if God had loaned me His prize possessions, then He trusted me enough to raise them to the best of my ability and in so doing, I had to rely on the Bible’s “Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child” concept. I don’t think it would have been written if this had not been a problem that pre-existed. I do beleive the system has come into play to enslave our children because if we don’t discipline them, where are they to go but into the system? I remember when the other race of children use to jump off buildings, were self destructive and relied on people such as my mother, who had to leave her children unattended to go serve up food for parties and to babysit their children and nobody was worried about the safety and abuse (neglect) of children at that time. What has happened, is that more positions and businesses have been created to place someone in a job to research what they think will work in raising children (psychology), when in most cases many of the researchers have no children at all, and will soon find out that sitting a child in a corner does not work, nor does drawing a freaking CLOWM!Love and discipline your children people…Don’t ever embarrass them, treat them with the same respect that you would like them to retun to you, always discuss whatever the issue of concern is that has caused you to be upset and you most remember more than anything, that your child/ren cannot make you angry. When you say that you are giving them control over you. You have allowed yourself to become angry because that child represents you and you’ve lost control because of the behavior displayed by that child being a reflection of you. So now, what do you do? you strike out. The last statement is something that I learned because when I was striking out, I did not have a clue as to why and most of all, why would I let someone that I loved more than life cause me to lose my cool? These are good questions to ask yourself and try disciplining from a different approach, when that doesn’t work———–YOU FIGURE. Be Blessed!

  17. Is your act one rooted in love or one rooted in what other might think of your parenting? I am certain there are other relevant questions. “Do unto others….” if you think that hitting is a cool and loving way to discipline and you wish your children to raise your grandchildren the same way… well go ahead.

  18. My friend of thirty years raised five children without ever raising a hand to them. Her children love her and are good citizens. My parents abused me and I have no family since I managed to get away. You turned into an abuser as a direct result of your mother abusing you. She hit you with a belt. That us abuse. It’s disgusting. No one should ever do that to a child for any reason. It is not love and you cannot face that so you not only be one an abuser, you advocate it. I am sure you are very angry right now. Now tell me, would you belt an adult fir misbehaving? An adult dies something wrong at work, what if the boss spanked him or her.? Why would you think a child would feel any different. It us terribly sad you were so damaged by your mothers abuse of you. Very sad indeed.

    1. Sir, you are entitled to your opinion. I, for the record and for clarification, am not an “abuser” so on that point you’re wrong.

      Your assertion that I am angry is off the mark as well however, I will take a gamble and say you are holding on to some anger and bitterness due to your experiences with your mother. It’s okay. There’s help out there but first you have to begin with forgiveness because that is more for you than it is your mom.

      Damaged? You’re wrong here as well.

      Your effort to label my mother as an abuser and me as an angry damaged abuser has only cast you in the light of an unhappy bitter man with some unresolved issues with your family.

      I wish you the best in your healing.

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