Single & Cynical in the City

It’s no secret that I’m single. It’s also no secret that it is hard being a single female in Atlanta. Hard if you choose not to screw men for sport or money, have some measure of dignity, and can recognize game when you see it. With that being said it should come as no surprise that I have been experiencing a long dry season. For a while it even seemed as if I couldn’t even buy a date…nothing was poppin for the kid. NOTHING!!

In the past couple of days I’ve had brief conversations with two potential “dates” or suitors. I hate those initial “getting to know you” talks. HATE ‘EM! Both young men made the same comment that causes a natural gag reflex with me.

So, tell me about yourself“. Uuuugggghhhh!!!

There has to be a better way to get to know each other without feeling like I’m on a job interview or auditioning for The Bachelor/Bachelorette!!!  I don’t want to feel as if I’m giving you a run down of my qualifications.

[in my best game show contestant voice] ‘Well, my name is Chocl8t. I’m 41 years old. I enjoy hiking, kayaking, bowling, and white water rafting. I’m an Aquarius and I’m a people person’. Uuuugghhh!!!

Could it be these guys just haven’t mastered the art of conversation? Or could it be I’m just cynical, jaded and just expect too much? Is it too much to want an effortless conversation that flows like a cool stream? Is it too much to want to laugh and joke in the process?

What is your technique or M.O. in getting to know someone? Do you run down a list of questions or do you let the conversation flow and go where it goes?

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12 thoughts on “Single & Cynical in the City”

  1. LOL!! I used to HATE that question too Choc, it would send up the cheese flag everytime! I played my own game and made the guys play MY game instead of the other way around. I let the converstation flow and while polite I let it be known I wasn’t into all the games. It’s not too much to ask Choc, keep your standards where they are and don’t give in. The right one will love you for it. And, the next time dude asks you that ‘question’ tell them (playfully) you ain’t on no gat dayum job interview and just keep the converstation moving…. Just my 2 cents 🙂

  2. Choc I’ve been married for almost 11 years and 6 years before that, so I may not be able to assit you gurl. I do remember my hubby making me laugh immediately when I met him and I thought dayum, handsome and has a personality. If they can make you laugh give ’em a shot, you’ll never be bored, LOL. Some guys are easily intimidated and their “tell me about yourself” may be their way of breaking the ice. If you feel relaxed in their company, go with the flow and see where it leads ya without expecting anything from it.

  3. i enjoy the “let the convo flow” a lot better than the interview. To me its better to take time to get to know someone. Its rare these days though. The art of conversation and vibing is lost in monkey music.

  4. LOL@ Jaila. But you right though, people don’t know how to relax and chill. I like to go with the flow as well…can’t stand getting the spanish inquisition…makes things forced and uncomfortable.

  5. I think the whole interview question scenario is a pointless excerise because the person is only going to paint you a picture of their most perfect selves. And what if they don’t really know themselves that well? You’ve just wasted time sitting in on story telling hour and as a result, the guy looks like a liar cause he says one thing and then does another. I always tell people to just show me who they are and if I have specific questions, I will ask them when they come to me. Other than that let it flow girl.

  6. AWWWW…SEEMS LIKE SOMEBODY NEEDS TO MOVE FURTHER NORTH. DON’T U SEE? THEM KUNTRY ASS SHIT KICKIN NIGGAS DONT HAVE A CLUE. THEY STILL THINK LIKE SLAVES DOWN THERE.

  7. I agree with all of you who think the best thing is to let the conversation flow. My best relationships/experiences have been with men who either made me laugh initially or just went with the flow.

    I also agree that it takes time to get to know someone and usually we send our “representatives” to those initial conversations/contacts…like Kay Kay said in an effort to “paint you a picture of their most perfect selves”.

    Well…the saga continues. 😀 😛

  8. Funny you say that Minista…ironically those relationships/experiences I referred to have been with dayum Yankee men! Even more ironic is that I’m from Louisiana. LMAO!!!

  9. I always think that when you meet someone you connect with, the conversation will just happen naturally. If they are wanting to know all about you immediately, no point in going further. The fun of dating someone you’re interested in is the getting to know you process. Suggesting date things to do and then just having a comfortable conversation. I never liked having to “spill” right away. Getting to know each other slowly, makes it more interesting. And you don’t want the wrong one knowing too much from the beginning. Choc, he’s there right in front of your eyes. OCOCOOCOCOCO

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