I’ve been absent for a while. In that time I haven’t written, not even in my private personal journal. Not that a lot of shit hasn’t gone on that I could have vented about, but I just felt the need to be quiet. To be…”still”.
As some of you know, last summer I opened my home to close friend who was, and still is, in a transitional period in her life. Divorce and bankruptcy knocked her on her butt and left her in a state of depression. She displayed all the classic symptoms of depression but after an intervention with couple of close friends, she’s in counseling and living with another close friend until she gets on her feet.
The friend is gone and I have my space back to myself. Yes Laawwd!
In the time she was living with me I learned a few things about myself which was kind of hard to admit. For example, I LIKE LIVING ALONE. What can I say? I like my space. Being able to walk around partially clad or butt ass butt nekkid was taken for granted before having a ‘house guest’ but now I take every opportunity to do so. In fact, I’m typing this in the nude sitting on my sofa! 😀
Things are back to normal. Same ole, same ole. Status quo. Yet, not so.
I’ve been having a series of conversations with a male friend on the benefits of juice fasting and detoxification. He has done it several times and touts how great he feels, how healthy. Through reading and researching I’ve learned that it is a good way to kick certain food addictions, such as sugar, and can provide mental clarity. So, I bought a juicer and have begun phasing the fasting into my routine and believe me when I tell you, it isn’t easy, even with the juice. IT. IS. HARD!
Why am I attempting to fast? Glad you asked. 😉
My reasons are more spiritural than physical. I’ve been the very obstacle that’s been keeping me from reaching my goals and getting what I want. Past hurts have left my confidence depleted and I want it back. I have fears which have manifested into this wall and I have not been able to let it down, get around it, nor have I allowed anyone beyond a certain point.
I want to get out of the way and I need and want that mental clarity. A girlfriend described it perfectly as a “quest for peace“.
Let the journey begin!