Church Suits

If you have ever attended a Black church anywhere in America, you have witnessed the fashion show of all fashion shows.

First Ladies, head ushers, Deaconess Board members, Elders, Evangelists, choir directors, and church mothers don their finest threads with matching bags and hats and come to the cathedral strutting like peacocks. Which is ironic since it is the male peacock that struts to attract the female peacock, but I digress.

Having grown up in the church, I am VERY familiar with the bedazzled suits/dresses with the accompanying ornate hats or “head dressings”. For as long as I can remember I wondered WHERE these women shopped for their gear. Well, over the weekend…I found it!!!

Oh, not that I wanted to patronize the establishment but rather view in amazement and plot its demise. The sobering reality that arson carries stiff prison sentences in Georgia is the only thing that keeps me from following through with my plans…but again….I digress.

I am not advertizing the name of the place because I refuse to attribute to the madness. But I will share with you the internal commentary.

Think part Sunday church bulletin announcements, part Saturday afternoon radio commercial spot, and part late night local cheesy television ad. (click the picture for larger view)

Church Suits is your one-stop shop to be suga sharp for the Lawd!! We have the latest Spring collection to help you magnify the Lawd in the latest fashions

You will be the envy of all the co-pastors wives when you hit the cathedral in these threads.

Having problems coordinating? Have the outfit but need that something extra to make it POP?

No worries!

The Lawd is your shepherd and you SHALL NOT want…He’s supplied AAALL your needs with our matching Hats-n-Accessories department!

Be sure to catch our weekly special – Bring in your church bulletin to receive 10% off your next ensemble purchase. MONDAYS ONLY!

Visit us online at WWW.CHURCHSUITS.COM!!!

Church Suits – Where every Sunday is Easter Sunday!!

    

Yeah, I know……

HELL IS HOT!!!!

About these ads

18 thoughts on “Church Suits”

      1. UH UH and oh snap–it IS real! LMAO. you just…just wrong! maude hammercy. again, LMAO.

        Ving Rhames and Deaconess Maybelle are weeping, yall. xD

  1. suga sharp!!!!

    *dyin*

    one of my coworkers has a “business” and she sells suits just like this…

    let me try and get her catalog and see if there is a website

    girl those suits scare me lmao

  2. LMAO! I needed a laugh today. Made me remember this dude I saw a few weeks ago in a orange zuit suit with matching orange gators and hat! We really know how to make our colors shine!

  3. This post was too funny. The part where you spoke of having thoughts of arson took the cake. From my moments in church I have pretty much seen it all. I just try to be nice to elderly people as if to say that I understand.

  4. I am white, and there is no possible way I could wear stuff like this to my church without getting some very strange glares. I have to admit I LOVE the hats. It seems like the only white women who can get away with wearing funky cool big hats and matching dresses are the Brits! I stumbled upon your blog while looking for pics of big hats, because I was so intrigued to see all the women at the Royal Wedding wearing them.

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